I just linked my Goodreads account http://goodreads.com/CrowdPublishTV to my blog. I thought commenting on Goodreads would update my blog, but perhaps it’s the other way around.
I won’t guarantee that it won’t change tomorrow. It’s been so long since I’ve blogged that I’d forgotten my username and password.
Let’s put the important stuff first:
and of course http://CrowdPublish.TV
Over the past month I’ve updated all my social media accounts so that I have a main Facebook page, Twitter account, YouTube site, Ustream account, Second Life avatar, blog and now Goodreads and Pinterest that all have the same message and logo instead of being a mishmash of experimental pages and characters.
I recently added a new Goodreads ‘character.’ I’ve been friending a bunch of authors with my Facebook profile for Tim, one of the characters from my creative nonfiction book Budget Justified: The Waste Fraud and Abuse of Government Workers. They wanted to friend me on Goodreads too but couldn’t find Tim there. That’s because I was on Goodreads as Lisa. Silly me.
All these social media accounts are getting a bit ridiculous. At least they all talk to each other, but I see this as a bureaucracy of the future.
I’ll be 42 next week. I’ve been married for almost 18 years. I thought that by now I’d be free from leering, sexist comments, or even groping. But I’m still a target.
I don’t wear skirts anymore – I don’t want to provide easy access. I’ve never owned any provocative clothing and I don’t wear much makeup. My crime? I smile a lot and I’ve always been very ‘nice.’
So today when I was out running and I saw the old guy who always stares directly at me and tries to get in my way, I told the guy walking behind him, “The guy in front of you creeps me out.”
Normally, I don’t like to say these kind of things. The creepy guy was old and probably lonely. But if nobody says anything, his behavior will likely escalate and ruin the trail for other women.
I know about behavior escalation. When I worked in FAA offices, there was a guy who sat in the cubicle next to me. I was the new woman in the office and we talked all the time. Then he started touching my hand. Later it was my shoulder. Eventually he put his hand up my skirt. And finally he locked me in a conference room and masturbated in front of me. The next day, before I could report anything, I was fired.
I wish I had said something to other coworkers to find out what kind of behavior he had exhibited before I showed up. Because I’m sure I wasn’t the first. Nor the last. He’s probably still scaring women out of the office. But the culture encourages silence.
I’m encouraging women to speak up when someone gives them the creeps. Because what starts as the creeps escalates to assault. So, next time you’re on the subway and you’re worried about the way someone is staring at you, tell the person sitting next to you. Or if you’re at work and someone is treating you like the office floozy, ask your coworkers what he’s like around them.
Because we must change the culture.
I’m really surprised to see so much buzz about Liz Gorman’s experience. In my experience, when a woman gets groped, nobody cares. Perhaps the difference is that it happened in public, rather than at the office. You see, when it happens at the office, you can’t talk about it because it ruins your credibility. Even if you have a Ph.D. Especially if that Ph.D. happens to be in engineering. Because that means all your coworkers are men. And if you mention something to them, you’re ignored, then ‘laid off’ at their earliest convenience.
I know of this happening to three women. One of them is me. The day after a coworker masturbated in front of me, I was fired. I talked to a few lawyers about it, but nobody wanted to take my case. I was a subcontractor and I could be let go without cause.
So I produced a web series about what it was like working there. You can see clips at http://BudgetJustified.com. I hope you will forward the story and stop the silence on how women are treated in STEM fields.
People often complain of having ‘writers block.’ I have never had this problem. I have what I call ‘Writers Diarrhea.’ Lots and lots of crap just keeps flowing out of me. At some point I clean it all up, it takes many passes to clean, but that doesn’t stop more stuff from coming out.
Because the US is still missing out on a lot of intellectual capital by suppressing women.